Pimp My Portal Part 7: Do Zombies Have Soul?

This series documents my adventures in ultra low-budget, grass roots marketing attempts to drive traffic to my game portal sites, with the hopes of breaking even at $33 a month. For other articles in the series, visit the Pimp My Portal special feature page.


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Over the years, YouTube has developed a number of tropes: cat/dog/hamster on a piano/skateboard/hot tin roof, young girl talking about herself, fan-made movie trailer, dude getting hoofed in the gonads, and on and on. One of the most pervasive of these is the song cover.

i have spent hours on YouTube looking up covers of songs i enjoy. This was much better sport before YouTube removed the star ratings from their videos – it was easier to key into the good performers, and to only investigate the 1-star folks when you wanted a good wince.

My Fiverr adventures turned up a girl named Christina (AKA Tinatural/ChristBaby124) who vowed that she would sing any song i wanted, videotape her performance, and upload it to her own YouTube account with a shout-out to my site for, of course, five bucks.

Tinatural on Fiverr

One of the things that improves your site ranking is a stream of high-quality links pouring in from “respected” sites. Since YouTube is owned by Google, and i’m trying to improve the Google siterank of ZombieGameWorld, i figured Christina’s gig was a no-brainer.

Standing in the Shadows of Fauxtown

But what song would i have her sing? i could go with “Re: Your Brains” by Jonathan Coulton. But no – this girl clearly wanted to sing soul and R&B. i couldn’t waste her on Coulton’s novelty nerd folk.

i racked my brain trying to come up with a Motown song about zombies. “My Girl”? Isn’t that about a guy who gets raised from the dead, and … no. No, it’s not. “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)”? Isn’t that about two lovers who have to hole themselves up in an abandoned farmhouse, and … er … no. i’ve got that one wrong too.

Jackie Wilson - Higher and Higher

Isn’t this the one where Jackie has to catch that helicopter out of the military compound?

If i wanted to go with a soulful song, i’d have to either write it myself, or change the lyrics of an existing song. Here’s what i came up with:

Tinatural Request on Fiverr

True to form for Fiverr folks, Christina delivered:



i took her rough cut and cleaned it up a bit. i synced the music under her voice, chopped it short enough to get the point across without letting the video overstay its welcome, and tacked on the tagline. Then i animated the “follow the bouncing brain” sequence to help hold the viewers’ attention. Here’s a link to the original if you’re interested.

For five dollars, i’m happy with it. i think it’s got juuust the right amount of “wtf sauce” drizzled on it. Since the Isley Brothers song isn’t very well known (i’ve discovered), it comes off as though this girl just decided to sing a funk song about zombies. And why not?

With this video, the ZombieGameWorld library slowly grows. The World’s Most Meager Marketing Budget slowly dwindles:

Original investment: $100

Spent:

* ZombieGameWorld tagline voiceover – $5
* Show Us Yer Bewbz! – $5
* Zombie Funk – $5

Remaining: $85

And Now For Something Completely Different

As the old proverb goes, man cannot live by video testimonials alone. i purchased one non-video gig on Fiverr that you’re gonna have to see to believe … and that the people of New Jersey, Delaware and Pennsylvania have, with any luck, already seen!

Pimp My Portal

5 thoughts on “Pimp My Portal Part 7: Do Zombies Have Soul?

  1. Mushyrulez

    No offense, but that bouncing brain is the creepiest thing I have ever seen.

    Apart from this, unfortunately I’ll honestly be amazed if you actually get more views because of these videos :(

    Reply
    1. Ryan Henson Creighton

      Heh … the dark truth is that before i went to GDC, i had this post in the queue but the video wasn’t finished. i wanted to post one Pimp My Portal post per week, so i set this one to auto-post, figuring i’d finish the video just after i returned from the conference.

      Of course, you know how it actually went. i have all the coins, etc. Regardless, this post auto-posted itself. i didn’t even realize it until a friend on Facebook said “i like your post, but i couldn’t see any of the videos.” PROTIP: Do NOT set your junk to auto-post if it’s incomplete.

      Reply

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