It is with regret that i announce that Untold Entertainment Inc. will be closing its doors …
… for ONE WEEK ONLY, while we take in the Flash Gaming Summit and the Game Developers Conference 2010 in San Francisco!!
Lost in La Mancha
This will be my fourth year at GDC, and my first time to the now sophomoric Flash Gaming Summit. i tried to hit the FGS after-party last year, but somehow had a REALLY wrong address. i arrived in San Francisco from Toronto after a 5 hour flight, dropped my bags at the hotel, and jumped in a cab for what i thought was the FGS venue. The place was so far-flung that the cab ride cost me twenty buckaroos, which is what Americans call their money. After wandering around for an hour in a bad part of town, asking people to help me find a bar that had apparently shut down the year before, i gave up and took a second twenty buckaroo cab ride back to my hotel.
Another glance at my notes, and i realized that the venue was actually a block from my hotel.
i hiked three minutes to the place, and everything was shutting down. There were angry-looking men with thick eyebrows unstapling signs that read “Best Conference Evar”. The floor was littered with wilting confetti. In a distant corner of the room, a sad-faced circus clown was cutting himself. i had missed it.
i managed to tag along with a rowdy group of devs who had overstayed their welcome, and we had a decent meal together at a nearby diner. There, the regaled me with tales of what i had missed: free Flash pants for all attendees, a special preview version of CS4 that didn’t crash every five minutes, and an exciting round of ultimate fighting-style mixed martial arts between MochiMedia and GamerSafe, during which Mochi’s sr. staffer Jameson Hsu lost an arm. It had been AWESOME.
So, protip: always check your notes before you leave the hotel and hallucinate some random address in the barrio that’s a 20 buckaroo cab ride away. Write that down.
Let’s Be Temporary Friends!
If you’re reading this and i follow you on Twitter, or if we’ve talked on LinkedIn or Facebook or some other site, please let’s shake hands and have a chat. Very few people put pictures of themselves online, so i know you all as “that guy with the dog in a party hat avatar” or “that lady with the posterized picture of her three-year-old as her avatar.” If i put a human face to your ridiculous social media handle, i’ll be more apt to treat you like a human, rather than … well, rather than a dog in a party hat.
(All this from the guy with a red monster doodle for an avatar)
If you’re looking for me in San Francisco this week, this is what i look like, plus or minus five pounds:
i’m the one in the picture who isn’t a monster.
Er … to be more specific, i’m the white guy with the dark eyebrows.
Vengeance is Yours
If i’ve publicly berated you for running a crappy college video game program or stealing your game graphics from Star Wars or controlling your microtransaction service like you’re the mafia, this is your chance to shank me, prison style, in real life. Don’t blow it!
As i did with last year’s GDC, i’ll write some articles reporting on what i did, who i met, and what i learned, so that you can save yourself the buckaroos and learn the same amount from the comfort of your Fat Chair. After i get back, i have a few weeks to finish some service projects before diving into a new original Untold Entertainment game, with the help of grant and refund money from the OMDC and the SR&ED.
i don’t know much about acronyms, but i do know what i like.