Forgive Us Our Facebook
My wife and i work with our church youth group, in case you were wondering why my Facebook friends list is packed with teen guys and girls. We message them throughout the week, we send them links, share jokes with them, and comment on their photos.
They look so sweet and innocent, until they start breaking windows.
Every once in a while, my wife will be cruising around one of the kids’ Facebook profiles, and she’ll mutter something like “Well, there goes Johnny’s chance at becoming a politician.” The stuff these kids write on their profiles would turn your hair white. But it’s because they’re 15, of course, and life beyond 18 doesn’t exist for them. It’s all about the here and the now and the last night for them.
Fear the Future
On one particularly alarming journey through teen Facebook-land, my wife turned to me and said “i have to warn these kids to be more careful about what they post. They’re going to grow up and go to job interviews, and the door’s going to get slammed in their faces.”
i don’t think that will happen. It’s a pandemic of poor judgement – every single kid in the group has posted at least one, if not many, horribly embarrassing items on Facebook. And i don’t think the group of about twenty kids we work with is less clever than any other random group of teens.
i think what will have to happen ten years from now, when the kids are older but their boob shots and drunk stories and “OMG i effing HEART the Jonas Brothers” gushing survives like informational cockroaches, is that all of these kids will have to overlook everything they posted on Facebook before their Xth birthday. There will have to be a sort of generational amnesty, like the Hebrew year of jubilee, where all debts are forgiven and everyone gets a do-over.
Then a job interview will go something like this:
Boss: Well, Johnny, your resume is quite impressive.
Johnny: Thank you, Sir.
Boss: But i went over your Facebook profile, and i noticed you had posted three pictures of yourself after having wet your pants, and one more igniting what looks to be an extremely ambitious fart.
Johnny: (Huh-huh-huh) Uh … yeah, but that was all before i turned twenty-three, Sir.
Boss: But what about this one? This photo that Jenny Kennedy tagged you in shows you parading down the street with balloons stuffed up your shirt as mock breasts, and you’re kicking in a car window. The next photo depicts you fellating a piñata.
Johnny: Uh …
Boss: And it’s dated three months after your twenty-third birthday.
Johnny: … buh …
Boss: i’m sorry, son, but this stuff was posted past The Cutoff. i can’t have your online shenanigans tarnishing this company’s reputation. The role of shift supervisor at Laffy Fries is one we take very seriously.
Johnny: (returns home and types up his fifteenth Facebook message about how he can’t land a job anywhere because the interviewers are all “asshats”)
And so it goes.
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I’ll admit that once I’ve shortlisted candidates for a junior role I’m hiring for, I do a social network search. FB, LinkedIn, MySpace, Bebo, Orkut, even a general Google search. I’m not looking for anything in particular – I use it more as another gauge for their personality fit.
Granted, if the search uncovered anything specifically unnerving, it would likely make me think twice about that person. But I have also uncovered things that made me find the person even more interesting as a candidate that wouldn’t have otherwise come up in an interview!
You call it a “social network search”, i call it “cyber-stalking”. You probably haven’t seen anything too eye-opening, because the people you’re interviewing are a half-step ahead of today’s teens. Wait until today’s fifteen-year-olds enter the job market in earnest. You’re gonna learn some new words, and see some things you can’t un-see. :)
- Ryan
I know someone that does this already. If the profile is particularly crude this person shares it with the rest of his staff for laughs. Point taken though, I’m removing all my revealing photos now. :)
Please leave “Brent’s Ass Gallery” up for uh … posterity.
I like to think that the photos of me in a child’s sized mesh tank-top and gold shorts contributes as a great reason to hire me. I mean, really, who wants a boring Christmas Event? No one. I bring the party.
Seriously though, I’ve been embarrassed more than once by photos on Facebook. I don’t have the heart to ask my friends to remove them though. By heart of course, I mean guts.
Andy – it all depends on who’s hiring, i suppose.
i’m not a big Facebook user, so correct me if i’m wrong, but i think that you can un-tag yourself from photos to keep them from showing up when ppl search you.
- Ryan
Wouldn’t most of this be taken cared of if you don’t have anyone whom you are friends with in your friends network?
If they’re too uptight to think that I can’t have a fun personal life because it will somehow magically affect their image with some other uptight demographic, I don’t think I want to work for them. Of course, if it really matters to you, you can ensure that only friends can see your profile.
(Josh – of course, how many actual “friends” do you have on Facebook? i have maybe five friends in my whole life, and about a hundred acquaintances on high school, many of whom i haven’t seen since the fifth grade)
Ha. I didn’t know you were a youth leader, great to hear!. I was one for 7 years, and now I work with college students (my wife is the Chaplain at UC Davis). We used to have a “come to Jesus” talk with the youth group kids about technology. We easily found messages about them having sex and doing drugs on Myspace and Facebook and none of the kids had any clue that 1) anything you put on the internet can be easily found 2) The internet is forever.
I actually wrote out an entire rant on this subject, but just deleted it all. It’s both a funny and serious subject, but no need to go on in length about it here ;)
Chris – i always find it encouraging whenever i detect a positive, excellent vibe from a person, and then i find out he’s a Christian. Like those shampoo commercials, the tingling means it’s working.
Interesting that you work with college-aged kids after seven years (!) with youth. Is that because you grew attached to your crew and followed them into adulthood, or were you just looking for a change of pace? i’ll miss my guys when they’ve graduated, that’s for sure. My church has hired a full-time youth leader, which is bittersweet … he’s excellent, but it’ll be tough to take a back seat.
Incidentally, i now feel compelled to whip up a “The Internet is Forever” T-shirt design.
“The Internet is Forever”
I’d buy that T-shirt. If the graphic design is good. Post a link when you finish. :)
I’m no youth leader, but I do help out a bit at my dojo, teaching Aikido to kids. :)
I fear the day when they grow up to have Facebook profiles! :o
Nah, actually, their generation will probably end up being a lot more careful about such things. Who knows, maybe they’ll even be more careful in their real life as well… ;)
axcho – Aikido is sort of like Christianity, except that Jesus never kicked anyone in the face (ACCORDING TO THE GOSPELS WE HAVE ON-HAND … i don’t want to say it didn’t happen – only that it wasn’t mentioned in John or the synoptics.)
*facepalm*
Ha, Aikido isn’t about kicking people in the face! :) It’s one of *those* martial arts – you know, the sissy ones where instead of attacking, you just respond to other people’s attacks while making sure everyone stays safe and uninjured…
:)
Ai Ki Do
Harmony Energy Way
It’s about blending with the energy of an attack, connecting with your attacker’s center, and redirecting it harmlessly away. It’s like the physical manifestation of Nonviolent Communication, or more generally, empathy.
I think Jesus would approve. :)
Hahaha – i knew i was in for a lecture as soon as i wrote that, but it was worth the gag :)
i am thinking about taking up kung fu/tai chi. Fatty needs to fit into old pants.
Ha, well you asked for it! ;)
Kung fu is cool. I’ve been thinking about trying Capoeira, myself. I’d love to be able to walk on my hands and do multiple flips in the air… :p
axcho – i have a friend who’s into Capoeira. i’ve always thought it looked really goofy … whenever i watch it, even being the non-violent type that i am, i’m always thinking “geez – just kick him in the face already!”
Fvck that “generational amnesty”. Some of us don’t do that kind of embarrasing things at all, so the ones who make them must live with the truth and “pay” for it.
Whatever – there but by the grace of God go i. i don’t booze it up or take bong hits in photos either, but i remember what it was like to be young, and how close i likely came to certain indiscretions. i think a certain amount of grace should be extended to youth, but there should be a cut-off. At some point, you have to grow up and get it together.