Thank God we have The Onion to shout out that the Emperors of excessivelly violent video games have no clothes:
Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face
No, your game does not have a “good story” (note the distinct jab at the stylistic but vapid Max Payne series).
This takes me back to my last few years of high school in the mid-90’s, when i was itching to get into the game industry. Unfortunately, my favourite game genre, the Graphic Adventure (RIP) had been on the wane for years, and had one foot in the grave at that point (Walk To > Grave). Games like DOOM and Duke Nukem were all the rage, and gaming culture slid from a cluster of respectable, scholarly types with beards, glasses and elbow patches, to the jocks who antagonized them in the venerable and true-to-life Revenge of the Nerds film series.
Seriously – why do i have to develop games for THIS guy?
i remember feeling slightly sick to my stomach while playing the first King’s Quest game, when i daringly typed “use knife on goat” and was shocked to see a stabbed, lifeless animal lying in a pool of blood a few moments later. Fast forward five years later, when someone at school was describing to me a first-person game where you decapitate your enemies, and then carry around their diembodied heads, which wolud vomit acid on other enemies to disintegrate them.
King’s Quest: wussy, but good
i was very sheltered from violence growing up, and i think it’s helped to make me a much more caring, empathetic (if not squeamish) individual. i don’t like to see horrendous acts of violence inflicted on others, because i wouldn’t want them inflicted on me. (Maybe that makes me more self-centered than empathic, but whatevs.) Enrolling in a college course for 3D art and animation, it felt like i was running into a flaming building – the ideals of my chosen industry collapsing all around me in cinders.
i realize i’m being a tad amateur poet about it, but suffice it to say: excessive and gratuitous game violence just pisses me off, plain and simple. So thanks for tellin’ it like it is, The Onion.
Now let’s leave the video for Everybody Else to enjoy, because “hur hur hur … dem people’s faces assploded.”