i received an exciting email blast yesterday from the Canadian New Media “Awards”. It was exciting! And blasting!
The email invited me to “nominate your colleagues, friends, and even yourself for any of the 15 categories!” Wow! 15 categories! And i can nominate my colleagues, friends, or even myself. Even myself! Well, that sounds a bit tacky, doesn’t it? If my work is ever nominated, i’d like some third party to genuinely feel that my stuff actually deserves an award.
Then i visited the Canadian New Media “Awards'” submissions page:
Say It Ain’t So, Joe!
Now i’m not so naive to think that we live in a happy chocolate rainbow-coated world where everyone throws their guns and bombs in the ocean, and where the Canadian New Media “Awards” are staffed by cuddly bunnies with an infinite amount of time to review piles and piles of submissions for free. But come ON – spend a year in this industry and you’ll see that it’s not that big. There is a finite number of eilligible companies producing a finite number of projects, and of those projects, i suspect that only a handful are worth a look, let alone an award.
i’m not sure why the e-blast invited me to nominate my colleagues, my friends, or even myself. Even myself, as though there were a slim possibility of that happening. At a hundred and fifty bucks per submission, who else am i going to nominate?
Do companies spend a hundred and fifty bucks nominating each other as a sort of compliment? i’m sure they do … it’s similar to sending a bouquet of flowers, i suppose. The trouble i see is that no one is then turning around and saying “this is the best bouquet of flowers recipient Canada has to offer! Let’s give them an award!”
J.D. Power’s “Associates”
It’s not a far cry from the likes of J.D. Power and Associates, where (allegedly) car companies can buy a high Customer Satisfaction rating. If companies are either nominating themselves, or nominating each other as a sort of quid pro quo business manoeuvre, do the Canadian New Media “Awards” really reflect the best new media our noble Dominion?
Perhaps not. But i’m sure the thought does not cross anyone’s mind when this or that company boasts the number of Canadian New Media “Awards” they’ve bought – *erp!* – i mean won. i’ve seen many companies who pull the even slimier tactic of billing themselves as “award-winning”, not even bothering to state which award(s) the’ve won.
That’s what i’m planning to do, anyway. But i need your help.
If you avidly read this blog and would like to doodle an interesting award on a napkin or fashion one from tinfoil, and then honour Untold Entertainment Inc. with that award, send me a scan or a picture and i’ll post it here. Please be sure to choose a creative pet name for your award, like “Murph” or “The Hickey”. It would also be fun to attribute your award to some crazy imaginary benefactor, like J.D. Power or Captain O.G. Readmore.
Captain Readmore’s legacy continues to further excellence in … whatever.
Come on, friends! Untold Entertainment deserves an ill-gotten award as much as any other Canadian new media company. Break out those napkins and get doodling!